For Baby Loss Awareness Week, Stacy shares the story of baby Theo.
Picture shows Stacy and baby Ava enjoying a Forget Me Not baby massage class!
After trying for a baby for some time, Stacy and Stefan had come to accept that “it would just be the three of us,” with Stacy’s 13 year old son Raymond.
Then three years ago, out of the blue, Stacy became pregnant with Theo. “Our world turned upside-down,” she says.
“But then Theo was delivered and our world turned upside-down again. He was fighting for his life, he couldn’t breathe. They tried to help him.” But despite their efforts, Theo sadly died.
“I can’t tell you how painful that is. It is the worst thing imaginable. Like being hit by a bus. We didn’t know what to do. It was all a bit of a blur. But suddenly Forget Me Not was there, ready to take us and Theo to the hospice.” The family spent a few days in our Snowflake Suite.
“I don’t know what we’d have done without that opportunity to spend time with Theo. You expect to leave hospital with your baby, the idea of not being able to, of him being taken away, doesn’t bear thinking about. We feel really lucky that we got to hold him.
I remember one night, it was a full moon and I just wanted to sit outside with Theo. Forget Me Not made that happen. They put all these lovely lights out there. They gave us a blanket and they took some pictures. I cherish those photos now.
It’s those precious memories that we wouldn’t have had otherwise.”
Three years on, Forget Me Not are still supporting the family, which has now become five with the arrival of twins Albie and Ava! “We went through IVF - we couldn’t bear the hole in our hearts that Theo left.”
Stacy comes along to our rainbow baby group – “it’s nice to get together with other mums and dads who’ve been through the same thing. It doesn’t matter if I get a bit upset – everyone understands.” And both Stacy and Stefan have had a go at baby massage: “It’s great, the babies lap it up. Stefan’s got showered with you-know-what once or twice though!” And Raymond had music therapy from Forget Me Not. “Raymond really struggled as he’d always wanted to be a big brother. Theo’s death shattered him, affected his emotions, his development at school. Forget Me Not’s music therapy gave him a way to express himself, it really helped him open up. He’s in a much better place now.”
“We feel lucky to have had Forget Me Not’s support to get us through. We’re one of the lucky ones and we’d be lost without it.”